It's not your fault, Mum.
It's not your fault I can't sleep at night
I walk round and round, I cross
My mind to find
My way back to life
and instead
I keep going in circles
Unable to sight
The next good thing around the corner.
It's not your fault, Mum,
If breathing now seems so hard
And my heart pumps blood
A thousand beats per minute,
Stuck so deep down my throat
Like every word
I want to say to you.
I was never speechless, Mum.
I was the way too loud kid running around the dinner table;
I was the little know-it-all at school raising my hand to answer questions.
All I've got now are questionable answers
To this big, fat mess I found out life to be.
I know nothing now, Mum.
I don't know how I'm getting out of this black hole
That swallowed me whole
But still
Managed to make me feel
All chewed up;
Like every single atom in my body
Got split in a billion little pieces
And exploded in a billion little atomic bombs
Leaving nothing
But
The graveyard of my emotions.
And Persephone never really left the Underworld, Mum.
Like me, she fell down to the centre of the Earth
As the ground opened wide
Right beneath her feet;
She was forced to reign upon a world in which
She was
Really
A prisoner.
Like me, she only had one taste
Of this unknown land
Of unrequited love
That still lingered on her lips
As she unfolded her eyelids
And prayed
To devotedly die
In her tears.
Image Credit: Александр Раскольников